The Day the Baseball Died

A long, long time ago
In the summer of '74
Hank Aaron broke that home-run record.
And I know that if he were here
He'd consider baseball with a tear
And hope some dignity would be restored.

But February, pre-season training
Only a few clean players remaining
Bad news from the panel
Blaring on every channel

It put everyone in a bad mood
When they read about those doped-up dudes,
And managers hid under their beds and cried
The day the baseball died.

So bye, bye, Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy up to Fenway but the Fenway was dry
And them good ol' boys shooting steroids into their thighs,
Singing, "This will help me get some RBIs."

Did you read the Mitchell report
And would you have faith in the future of sport,
If ESPN tells you so? Now do they believe in taking drugs,
Or do they sit there looking smug,
And can they get out of this hole that they've dug?

Well they know that you guys took those 'roids,
And now you know you can't avoid
The fact it's all over the news,
Oh, you guys are totally screw-eeed
The Orioles were a team of last-place schmucks,
Thought bulking up would help them not suck,
But too bad now: they're out of luck
On the day the baseball died.

And Mitchell's singing,
Bye, bye, Miss American Pie,
Drove my Chevy up to Fenway but the Fenway was dry
And them good ol' boys shooting steroids into their thighs,
Singing, "This will help me get some RBIs."

Now for several years baseball's gone downhill
Hard to break records or give the fans a thrill
But that’s not how it used to be.
When Babe Ruth hit that 714,
No one thought drug use would be routine
And guys would get caught with it in their pee.

Oh, and the commission was looking down,
Probing locker rooms with a frown.
And discovered the whole scam;
The verdict was a grand slam.
And while Selig read "Game of Shadows,"
Roger Clemens was warming up to throw,
But his career was dealt a blow
The day the baseball died.